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- 🤔 The Everyone Test & Your Partnership
🤔 The Everyone Test & Your Partnership
A Simple Way to Choose Worthy Actions
Michael Hatfield
March 09, 2025
Everyone on Earth?
If everyone on Earth did exactly what you're about to do, would the world be better or worse? Ever since I heard this on a cast, it’s positively plagued me on a weekly basis in relation to building Appairent.
Sounds simple, right? But this little mental framework is a game-changer for figuring out what actually matters - especially when you're in the thick of building something bigger than yourself.
Let's run it:
Everyone exercises more? World gets healthier. ✅
Everyone shows more kindness? World gets kinder. ✅
Everyone acts like Musk? Probably a disaster. ❌
It’s a fantastic way to evaluate a business idea for big growth, or any general undertaking to see if its virality is good for humanity. Can it crossover to your partnership at home? I think so.
What if everyone invested in their relationship the way they invest in their career? Not grand gestures or crap from Matthew McConaughey’s less fine romcom acting days. I’m talking consistent-NOT-daily, intentional showing up for your partner the way you show up for that big client meeting.
60 days of intentional accountability and concierge for you and your partner…FREE.
It’s NOT an everyday “challenge”.
It’s consistent, actionable nudges to show up.
It’s actual help delivering on it while you stay busy.
Sign-up or share with a career-minded/entrepreneur friend that gets it.
Testing the Test
When I'm heads-down building my business, it's embarrassingly easy to let my marriage slip into autopilot. The irony isn't lost on me - building a company to help other couples while sometimes dropping the ball with my own partner. That’s why I like the “everyone test”, it puts me in check about the things I’m spending my very finite time on. And sometimes it helps me shift the ratios. I ask the question about my business, but I ask it of the actions I could take on my relationship.
And here's what happens if every couple carved out just a little more intentional time together:
Stronger families
Less divorce
Higher performance at work (tons of support for this,but all the proof you need is thinking about your productivity the last time you had a legit fight at home…)
Exponentially happier homes
Life will get lived outside the career walls, and you know what I mean. “Busy” sucks up a lot of time!
And unlike a lot of other "everyone tests" (like "what if everyone became a founder?"), this one actually works better at scale. I can envision a really good world if everyone prioritized just one (more) intentional, unselfish act in their relationship a day.
Apply it Yourself. Yes, Everyone.
For those of us in the thick of building careers or companies, this isn't about massive time commitments. It's about being intentional with the time you have.
Think your schedule is too packed? Studies show successful couples don't necessarily spend more time together - they spend it better. Quality over quantity isn't just a cliché; it's a survival strategy for busy couples.
The 60-Second Impact Audit
Before dismissing a relationship moment for work, apply the "everyone test" in just 60 seconds. Not every choice of the day. You’ll know when the two are at odds, you do it all the time.
Ask: "If every busy professional skipped this moment with their partner, what would be the collective impact?"
Simple mental scoring system:
+2 (significantly positive) to -2 (significantly negative), 0 neutral
Only postpone moments that score 0 or higher. This works for whether to take that late call, whether to look up from your phone, or whether to engage in a conversation that seems "low priority." This quick framework prevents the slow erosion of connection that happens through seemingly small decisions.
The Weekly Priority Alignment
Dedicate 15 minutes 1x every week to identify just one relationship moment that would clearly pass the "everyone test". Something that, if universally practiced, would undeniably improve relationships.
Block this non-negotiable moment, and time for the result before your calendar fills in. When you consciously recognize "this matters and it’s easy," it becomes psychologically harder to ignore or defer.
Share the "everyone test" logic with your partner so they understand why you're protecting this time (though I’m hoping you’ve already signed them up for this newsletter…)
The Intention-to-Action Bridge
Create a simple trigger system where business activities automatically prompt relationship actions.
Ex.: Send your weekly team update, then send your partner one specific appreciation via text/email. On the day of your monthly/quarterly business review, also set aside time at home for one meaningful conversation about your shared future. This bridges the gap between good intentions and actual behavior by linking relationship investments to existing work routines you consider unavoidable.
The brilliance is in the behavioral design: you're leveraging existing habits rather than trying to create entirely new ones which is exhausting.
I did the Weekly Priority Alignment recently and actually decided I would formally run Appairent’s 60-day trial in my own life for both our sakes. So far so good, totally worth the 15 minute thought process.
While you're building your career domain, your relationship is either growing or eroding. Assume there's no neutral ground here, folks. And unlike your quarterly business results, you can't just make it up in Q4 if you've been slacking all year. (You can counterbalance when needed though.)
We’re All Better For It
I'm building Appairent because I've seen the stark contrast between couples who nail this balance and those who don't. The difference rarely comes from grand gestures or massive time investments. It's in the small, consistent choices to prioritize partnership amid the chaos of building careers and raising families.
If everyone approached their marriage with even half the intensity they bring to their professional goals, we'd witness a revolution in relationship satisfaction. The ripple effects would transform not just individual families, but entire workplaces and communities.
I'm applying the "everyone test" to my own relationship choices every day. If the world would be a better place because of those 15 minutes you spend on your partner, you should spend it.
And call me crazy, but if 62 million American couples invested 15 more minutes in work…would the world really be better? At this point, doubt it.
Now back to work 😅
🍻
Hat