🥞Your First Job is not your J-O-B

The Priority’s in the Pancakes

The morning hit a little different. I was making Saturday breakfast - a classic modern dad concoction of organic Fruity Pebbles (damn you Cascadian Farms) and…Bisquick to make pancakes.  I’m cleaning the kitchen, walking the dog, and getting the house in order after a long week, so we could tear it apart again as a family.

I realized: This is actually the job we were put here to do. Not the work waiting in my inbox. Not the quarterly performance crap.

I'm not suggesting we abandon our careers. That's neither practical nor the point, and I think work is a highly worthy cause as a PIECE of this lifestyle tapestry.  The average professional works 47+ hours weekly, and for entrepreneurs/busy career makers, it's often much more. We don’t leave it at work, we bring it home. We have mortgages to pay and responsibilities that extend beyond our front door.

Join tons of other couples on Appairent’s free 60-day journey.

Or at least forward to a friend.

Take advantage of our relationship concierge:

 ✅ Consistent (NOT daily) partnership nudges via email or text

 ✅ Schedule Management

 ✅ Proactive milestone (bdays, annis) preparation

It makes making the partnership a seat at the table effortless, while you keep building that career and family.

The Original Job Description

Before we had LinkedIn profiles and job titles, we had a different calling. Our first job – the one written into our DNA – was to partner up, create families, and nurture love, and THEN provide. Everything else came after.

Here’s the typical part we walk right over: “partner up” was the first step that you build on, not step all over. 

Like a tree growing from the inside out, a thriving family develops from a healthy partnership at its center. As life adds layers – career demands, children's activities, community involvement – the core must remain strong, protected and supported through strong, well-fed roots.

Yet how often does the partnership get the least attention? Many couples maintain packed family calendars while feeling like strangers to each other, spending far less than 4 hours/week in meaningful conversation. 

Hi, My Name's Mike

And I suffer from this exact issue (among others). As I sit here writing this newsletter, I'm not just working my 50+ hour "day job" – I'm building something meaningful "in the moonlight." All of that creates an inherent tradeoff with my most important relationship on earth.

Part of me feels okay about it – my wife KNOWS I'm doing this for us as much as for myself (my desire to create "with my own hands" is at a fever pitch right now).

I feel this concept – this tension about the "first job" – jolt me every damn day. And yet I can't say I successfully get back to the “original” job the way I want to. 100% of the time wouldn’t be reasonable. Just...so many times I find myself thinking about my wife and those closest to me as I peck in my login to do whatever the world or work is telling me to do. That ain’t it. 

Yes, we have to make these tradeoffs sometimes. But I have this pang in my stomach that says the ratios aren't even close to right. I'm betting some of you feel it too.

Making It Practical

If this doesn’t resonate, great! We are all doing our best, and many days I want to implore you to give yourself some grace and credit for all you ARE doing. And if your ratios feel right as rain,  send my your recipe b/c I’d love to learn from you. 

Otherwise, here are some practical ways I refer to and implement without a huge plan, in hopes of shifting the ratio. Now you have them without adding the mental load of coming up with these.

Use just 1 and you’re a hero to your partner and your relationship: 

Consistency Over Choice

The modern world pulls us in countless directions, but our original job hasn't changed. Sometimes we all need help remembering and executing on our most important role. And if you know thyself and need help with it, use appairent.com to get the job done.

We build our careers by stacking consistent success, and it’s the same with our partnerships at home. You know what good looks like, and you don’t settle for < great typically. As you move through your week, remember that the small acts of presence and partnership aren't distractions from your work – they're investments in what makes the work worthwhile in the first place. And I am telling myself that me, my wife, and my J-O-B will succeed more if I keep this in mind.

🍻

Hat