Yes, AND: 3 Ways to Delight☺

Spontaneity & Structure Together for the Home Win

Author

Michael Hatfield
September 29, 2024

Bill Murray Film GIF by Hollywood Suite

Gif by Giphy

Improv to Improve Your Dad Roles

Bill Murray is legend. Think we all agree even if his humor isn’t quite your style. Ghostbusters, Caddyshack, hell I don’t have to name all the success, you know it. Because of his ties to Charleston, I read up on him a few years ago and one key thing stuck with me. “Yes, AND…”. This guy once switched seats with a taxi driver in Manhattan b/c the driver hadn’t found the time to play his saxophone in a while, and it was in the trunk of the car. Already an old-guy mega-millionaire, he showed up to a college party after a round of golf at St. Andrews just b/c they had the courage to ask…AND then washed their dishes!

So what the s*it does this have to do with all the roles you own as dad/husband/self? So glad you asked.

“If you can consciously let yourself get taken and see where you go, that’s an exercise. That’s discipline. To follow the scent. Let yourself go and see what happens, that takes a bit of courage.”

Bill Murray

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Yes, AND…No?

Channeling a little counterbalance influence here. Appairent promotes planning and communicating to level-up at home and reduce your mental load in the process. But Appairent is also about executing. And sometimes, to be an effective executor, you have to say “YES” to the spontaneous and just DO when the opportunity presents itself. It’s an ethos creeping into our support of hard-working dads that use our services. They ask for help related to parent/partner/person stuff… we say “YES”…”AND” find a way to make it better/faster/more awesome.

The power of “No” is strong for career focus and success.
The power of “Yes AND” is powerful for fulfillment.
Paired together, that’s damn near a superpower, for you.

The power of No is valuable and crucial in a majority of situations. It probably should be your default stance to do what matters most (to you). It most certainly is best in your work pursuits and personal goals. It’s just that when it’s about the relationships you hold closest to you, the meter stick is different. You want that to be the exception to that rule for your fam. You want to know you showed up when it wasn’t scheduled, easy, or required. “YES…” gets you there, “AND” adds that layer of delight. How nice is it when you pick between 2 wines and they bring you a healthy taste of the other one?

This invokes Will Guidara’s 95/5 concept as well which fits in with Appairent thinking too…more another day. For now:

Yes, AND= Delight.

Yes AND, at Home

What’s it look like practically as a parent, partner, and person?

Person
Group of friends text you about Thursday Night Football…on Thursday…fack.

Default: Your gut reaction is immediately NO. “I planned to work w/ it on in the background. It’s a late start, I already had a plan”.

Yes, AND: Give in this week. It might be playoffs before schedules align again. AND, get your asses to the pub to break bread before the game.

I’m not suggesting all the time. We’ve all got aspirations, and advancing your vision (career, founder, etc.) requires some of that extra time. Also requires you not to burn out holding your laptop and your dick having no fun.

Partner
Wife proposes to host a big dinner party next month.

Default: “That’s a lot of stress, time and money that we’re already running tight on”

Yes, AND: Get excited about it…and the fact your planning a month out! Help calendar the date AND throw out a few of your own favorite foods/themes. Half the power of planning is having something you get to look forward to together.

Parent
This one’s easy, but we all need a reminder. “Daddy, can you come play with me?”

Default: 1) “Not right now, Dad’s busy with work” 2) “In a minute…(30 mins goes by) 3) “Uh <looks at phone>, sure <looks at phone>, I’m playin’ <looks at phone">

Yes, AND: You had 3 outbound prospect emails to write, not a 7-figure recurring deal on the line in 10 minutes. Say YES. AND, once you’re done playing their choice, drive out and get the guy or girl a cookie at the coffee shop.

Put it to Work

I love this and I believe in it. Like most of Appairent though: it’s obvious, not easy. I’m working on incorporating this into my life and our business more. Some spontaneity and the resulting delight is good for you and the receiver.

Put some version of “Yes, AND” to work this week. Keep your ears out for the opportunity, and do it just 1x. That’s my goal as well.

Until then, say NO, a lot, to everyone else.

🍻 

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