Doing For Women

If you’ve leveraged any of the “plays” I’ve put forth on past Saturdays- awesome! But let’s face it: the last thing you need the day before Mother’s Day is to be given pointers on how to plan and schedule even more things for next week. So here’s what I’ve got:

1. Practical tip if you’re a little late on Mother’s Day.

2. 3 minute exercise that puts things in perspective.

3. A tempered rant from my man Al Bundy, instead of Maddy Hattie, to give you a manly laugh going into your weekend.

3 Minutes for Perspective

Start a stopwatch counter on your phone. Write down (or type or voice note) everything your wife does as a parent in the family that you probably don’t. I’m about to do mine, and I already know the list is staggering. I also know I bring a lot to the table. And that’s why we are a team, we’re parentS.

Instead of fixating on the list of things you’ll try to do for her tomorrow, this makes it so much easier to do what we’re really meant to do: celebrate her. That list is applauseworthy.

We’ll get back to being planful next week. Focus on your partner now. We’ll work parent and person back in soon. And this is ok, and normal! “Counterbalancing” is the more accurate term for balance in most parts of life. More on that another day.

Why men do what they do for women

Thanks to this fandom page for the inspo and the monologue help!

After surviving multiple beatings from Ray-Ray and his gang and several rounds of sex with Peg, Al confronts Ray-Ray one last time] - Hood 'n the Boyz (Season 8)

[Ray-Ray: "What is it with you, Bundy? Still not getting enough curve in your diet? I mean, we knock you around, you come back. Why? Why do you do it?"]

"For the same reason men climb mountains or sail across the sea alone. For the only reason that a rational man would do an irrational thing like this".

[Ray-Ray: "Pride".]

"No, women."

"I'm a moron, Ray-Ray. We're all morons. That's what comes from being a man. From the first little worm they dare us to eat to the last big shovel full of snow they convince us we can move, we're nothing more to women than an amusement park ride with life insurance. Why else would we do the idiotic things that we do? For example, you ski?"

[Ray-Ray scoffs and says "No"]

"Well, you will someday if a girl wants you to. We all will. We'd hurdle down the mountain so fast that the crack of our bodies hitting the tree wouldn't even resonate in their ears before we'd pounce up and say 'I'm OK.' They know were not OK. Hell, even if they miss that pair of squirrels running away with our hackysacks, one glance down at the color of the snow would hint that there might be some trauma."

"And we’ve all been to the weight room when a pretty girl walks by and said to ourselves “Gee I think I’ll start today’s warm up bench pressing oh, nine tons."

"So, you see Ray-Ray, as long as there’s women, there will be men around doing stupid things to impress them. That’s why I’m here. That’s why you’re here. That’s why they're here."

"Now, someday, you may evolve beyond this, but it’s too late for me. I’m too old, too married, and lost far too many hackysacks."

Finish strong this weekend, friends. There’s a lot worth celebrating. And Father’s Day is around the corner. 🍻 

-Hattie