Up Your Hospitality 5 Ways to Sunday

We Gotta Up Our Hospitality

Last week my wife and I tested Date Night Done against itself. "Find us something like a pop-up where we can get a cocktail and some good content from the experience."

It found a Belvedere mini martini pop-up at one of Charleston's nicer hotels. Running Fri-Sun from 12 to 5. We'd swing by right after school pickup – fun but not drawn out.

We arrived at 1 PM to a beautiful, vacant veranda. Long shot from being ready. We waited 45 minutes. Nothing. The stressed-out staff finally snapped when I asked about the event that allegedly started at noon.

What killed me? Multiple managers witnessed this and did absolutely nothing. They had a full-service bar downstairs with the same martinis. They had hands to help. They had mouths to own it.

They chose none of it.

TL;DR

Hospitality isn't about being fancy – it's about doing what you say, owning your failures, and having the agency to fix things on the spot. The same fundamentals that apply to running a pop-up apply to your partnership and your home.

Speaking of Hospitality…

Date Night Done is here to put that hospitality into every date you go on. A touch of surprise, delight, curation and service…so you don’t have to! Be a guest of a restaurant, sure. But now you can be a guest of your own date, not the manager.

See your city on our website? If you do, take 5 mins and book with us for FREE (no cc)! We’re looking to push our experiment in all those lovely cities.

5 Steps to Avoid Suck

Watching this disaster unfold made me realize: opportunities to win - or save a loss - happen at home all the time. We sign up for stuff we can't deliver. We fail and don't own it. We resign to the L instead of fixing it.

1. Do What You Say and Say What You'll Do

At home, I've found no better satisfaction than being realistic about my ability to execute something...or saying no. When I do what I said I'd do, my wife is happy, I'm happy, and there's no added stress. And if that means doing less but better? That's where hospitality starts.

2. If You Have to Fail, Call It and Own It

Shit happens. We're gonna cancel a dinner date. We're going to forget to check stains before the dryer (🙋). When you see the fail happening, say you're failing. Fess up. You're acknowledging how it made them feel. You see them.

3. Have Some Freaking Agency

Can the sitter start 1.5 hours late and you still make dinner? Do it. Five minutes of thought without resigning to take the “L” – you can fix most things on the spot.

The manager could have called down for two martinis to be sent up in under 10 minutes. Delayed pop-up becomes private veranda bar service. Magic.

4. Offer a Concession

Can't fix it? Offer an alternative. Your partner getting to take their friend on the date you had planned can be just what the doctor ordered.

5. Give the Concession Teeth

Concessions work best immediately. Book the re-do date night for tomorrow. Get that high-end takeout delivered before you get home, not 3 hours later. Pro move is if your concession is actually better than the original offer.

This Week's Challenge: The Hospitality Audit

For Your Partnership:

1. List 3 things you committed to this week (big or small)

2. Check: Did you actually do them?

3. For anything you didn't do – did you own it? Offer an alternative?

4. Pick ONE thing you tend to over-commit to and practice saying no this week

Bonus: Next time something goes sideways, practice the 5 fundamentals. Own it, think of ways to fix it on the spot, offer a real concession, execute it now.

The goal isn't perfection. It's getting better at recovering when you inevitably fall short.

P.S. I’m acutely aware 99% of you probably won’t sit down and write this stuff down…but at least do the mental exercise!

Daily Hospitality

Watching what hospitality is not made me want to be more hospitable on the daily. Extra moments of delight are great, sure. But first, get your service of others right. Know how to "save it" when you get in a bind (because you will).

Start with what you said you'd do. Perhaps reassess how much you said you'd do and pull some back so you don't need fundamentals 2-5. But when you do need them – and you will – now you have them.

Alright, now go show some hospitality to those you love. Enjoy Sunday hard.

🍻

Hat