The 2 Repeating Gives in a Relationship

Date Nights & Gifts - Simple as That

As I continue building within the vision of Appairent, I keep getting feedback and notice things in our clientele myself. And that’s good - any business owner should listen to customers and try to continually niche down the service to provide the most value to a specific need…and then you can branch out from there.

And because of that, all I hear now is…: date nights and gifts. In life, the 30 year plan? Appairent’s mission to put your most important relationship on Earth first will never be “wrong”. But in the here and now, what’s it look like? Busy parents with careers and businesses to run, I’m being told we all need the more tactical stuff…and we need it handled for us.

So date nights and gifts- we want them, we don’t get them enough, and they slip through our fingers often b/c we pick up the next problem we have to solve. Heard.

I Got Stood Up

I’m working on something that gets really tactical for date nights. While I finish cooking that this week, let me hit on gifts. In the nicest of ways, my wife gave me some feedback related to Appairent and our own journey this week.

“You’re an amazing partner and you’re grinding in all of the ways. And that’s why you’re probably missing doing what you write about here at home.”

Oof…but true. I’ve said it a lot…intention and execution are both an inch and a marathon apart.

She went on:

“I know my love language is gifts and you do too. I know I like nice stuff but I also just like the idea of a gift. Grab me a bag of cheetos at the store on your way home from work, or sometimes a non expensive bottle of wine. Maybe ice cream if you know we've been out for a while and I've had a hard day. Flowers will never go out of style, etc."

This is so obvious and easy! That same day I did one of those in about 5 mins riding home on the golf cart. Ta-da! What happens normally? I think about it, get distracted, hop on a work call on the way home and muscle memory takes me on a B-line to home, or to run that annoying but necessary chore for one of the kids.

Let’s make it practical.

My Gift To You of Gifts

So my gift to you this week is the gift of practical gifts. Just try sprinkling 1 of these in this week. It really is easy and it says “I see you”. If you say “my partner knows I see them”, yea fair. But it can only be well received!

(Yes, AI helps me generate these but it’s with quite a bit of discussion and discernment…this isn’t rocket science!)

Also, yes I feel a bit like a tool with this stuff. And yet, that’s never stopped me before if it makes people I care about the most feel awesome.

 Husband → Wife

Everyday Pick-Me-Ups

• Snack radar: Her exact go-to brand/flavor, stashed for a surprise.

• Beverage rescue: That obscure tea blend or limited kombucha she likes.

• Midweek wine: Grocery-store bottle “just because.”

• Freezer win: Ice cream or gelato from the “fancy” aisle.

• Desk treat: Dark chocolate or trail mix left by her laptop.

Classic Gestures

• Flowers 2.0: Single dramatic stem or tiny wildflower bunch.

• Pocket note: Quote from her favorite book slipped in her bag.

• Candle pick: Unique scent — think leather, fig, or library. Candlefish.

• Page drop: Magazine in her niche hobby or a small poetry chapbook.

• Tiny green: Bonsai starter or air plant for her desk.

Little Luxuries

• Art spark: Small print from a local artist. My wife found a person that does sketches of local restaurants and it’s been a hit of a gift.

• Creative gear: Sketchpad, watercolor set, or calligraphy pen. Papier?

• Mind treat: Puzzle book, brain teasers, or beautiful notebook.

• Morning ritual: Mug that feels “hers.” I’ve been given a mug each year that has our kids faces…perfect.

• Sound bite: New vinyl or curated playlist on a USB drive.

Experience in a Bag

• Picnic quick kit: Cheese, crackers, fruit, canned spritz.

• DIY tasting: 3 mini olive oils, honey, or hot sauces. Brightland is cool.

• Curio drop: Pack of vintage postcards for her to use or display.

Wife → Husband

Everyday Pick-Me-Ups

• Snack MVP: His late-night graze item, whatever it is.

• Caffeine hit: Small-batch beans or single-serve pour-over kit. Second State.

• Cold one: Craft beer or unique soda from a world market.

• Desk fuel: Fancy nut mix, jerky, or artisan energy bar.

• World flavor: Grab a sauce, spice, or condiment he’s never tried.

Classic Gestures

• Wallet note: A short note + a fact or joke he’d appreciate.

• Gear drop: Something for his niche hobby — film roll, climbing chalk, guitar picks.

• Style pick: Minimalist belt, slim beanie, or sleek pen. I like Rains.

• Daily carry: Compact multitool or cool pocket notebook.

• Mind candy: A short story collection or magazine in his interest area.

Little Luxuries

• Art spark: Tiny sculpture, desk toy, or artisan coaster set.

• Sound bite: Vinyl, podcast subscription, or curated playlist.

• Gadget fix: Clever kitchen or office tool that solves a small annoyance. Time saver on pits.

• Mind treat: Chess puzzle book, Rubik’s cube, or trivia deck.

• Wellness nod: Quality hand cream, shower steamers, or sleep mask.

Experience in a Bag

• Mini tasting: 3 small hot sauces, whiskeys, or chocolates.

• Curio drop: Pocket-sized field guide for local hikes or stargazing.

• DIY game night: Niche board game + snack pairing.

Gifts Go Further

I’ve got this friend, we’ll call him Chris. He has been the master or sending random gifts to our crew sporadically. I would guess it takes him 5 mins of execution and the simplest of intentions: to put a smile on someone’s face that he cares about. I wear that random ass Costco sweatshirt with a grin, and the random banana hammock leotard he sent me is good for a party gimmick laugh every now and then (I reference it, I don’t wear it…usually).

Between his whimsy and a slightly more serious need to put a little gas in your partner’s tank is where I’m gonna stash this list for myself. See what you come up with.

Now go enjoy the gift that is Sunday.

🍻

Hat