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- 🛑 Stop Managing Life, Start Living It
🛑 Stop Managing Life, Start Living It
Less coordinating and more handling goes a long way.
Michael Hatfield
March 02, 2025
Comms are overwhelming.
(Mis)Managing Communications
This is wild: we’re now living with AI chatbots that aren’t idiots, and cars drive better than most asshats out there. And while I think change is on the way, managing family life feels more complicated than ever. Ironically this family "management" manages to push aside something that matters most: your partnership.
Let me paint you a picture that might feel familiar...
It's 7:45 AM. You've got Betty’s soccer schedule in one app, Conrad’s school updates coming through another system entirely, and your partner just texted about dinner plans through a third channel. Meanwhile, the babysitter is WhatsApp’ing about next week's availability, and the school nurse is trying to reach you through some parent portal you can never remember the password for.
Sound familiar? Same.
Forward to just one friend, founder or colleague you know who needs Appairent.
Full service relationship concierge that prioritizes your partnership.
Date night calendaring & milestone coordination
2-way, consistent, actionable partner prompts
60 days free. $29/month after.
We Want Concierge. We Got Cacophony.
Picture this: Important business trip for me, simultaneous client meetings for my wife, and our nanny suddenly quits with our toddler in tow. Pure chaos.
On a word-of-mouth recommendation, I called a babysitting concierge. After a quick 15-minute call:
Me: "That's it? What else do I need to do?"
Her: "Well, you need to get back to work don’t you? Sounds like you’re on one.
💫 Magic. No endless Care.com profiles, no schedule-matching hell, no cross-checking with my wife. Everything was handled. Yes, I paid extra, but the mental bandwidth saved was worth every penny.
This is what we all need – "light touch" concierge service. Not more apps to manage what's already happening TO us, but support to create what we WANT to be happening. The former is like getting extensive job training when what you actually need is help finding the right career.
Consider It Done
That "it's handled" feeling that lets you focus on what matters instead of drowning in options. While I built Appairent to solve this systematically, here are three ways to create your own relationship concierge system without breaking the bank or adding more mental load. Because sometimes the best relationship hack isn't another app—it's fewer decisions and more execution.
A Decision Delegate
Pick one recurring decision that constantly drains your mental energy as a couple (date night venues, gift-giving, activity planning), then eliminate the choice fatigue:
Find one trusted friend with good taste in that area
Give them your parameters once (budget, preferences, no-gos)
Have them send “copycat” idea they have used. Just 1. No choices needed.
This works because having someone else decide - even if it's not always "perfect" - eliminates the mental load of comparing endless options. The relief of not having to choose outweighs getting exactly what you want.
Time Blocking for Relationship
Once a month, do the same thing that Appairent does for its clients, only takes about 20-30 minutes, increases success/execution rates while saving long-run time.:
Block 20 minutes when kids are asleep
Pre-book all date nights for the next 1-2 months (talking 1/month)
Immediately make all reservations/arrangements needed
Put a hold on backup childcare
This front-loads all the decision-making and coordination into one focused sprint, creating a relationship infrastructure with cruise control. Your future self will thank you as these dates arrive fully formed without the long-tail scramble.
The Subscription Swap
I love this one and I’m going to randomly pick one from a shortlist tonight. Look at your monthly subscriptions (we all have too many):
Cancel one digital subscription you barely use ($15-50/month)
Redirect that exact amount to a "done-for-you" service:
Meal kit delivery for one special at-home dinner
Task service for one household chore you both hate
Virtual assistant for 1-hour of calendar management (seems far-fetched but it really is plausible from your friends at taskrabbit.com or upwork.com will do it!
The key insight: trading a passive subscription for an active service that creates relationship space is the highest ROI move most couples never make.
The common thread? Stop trying to manage more options and start eliminating decisions entirely. Because what high-performing couples really need isn't more tools or more choices - it's fewer decisions and more execution.
A Better Way Forward
Here's what I believe: The tools we use should help us do more than just manage - they should actually SERVE us, Then, help us act with purpose, show up with intention, and shape the life we want. Not just handle the one that's happening to us.
That's why I built Appairent: to help you stop reacting to life on autopilot and trigger intention in your relationship—without adding to your mental load. Because when we get that right - when we're intentionally showing up for our partnerships instead of just managing them - everything else tends to fall into place.
Whether you're a founder hustling on your startup, a consultant juggling client meetings, or any busy parent trying to keep it all together - you shouldn't be weighed down in administration. And you definitely shouldn't have to sacrifice staying connected to your partner at the altar of family organization.
Until next time,
🍻 Hat
P.S. If this resonates, I'd love to hear your stories. How do you stay intentional in your relationship amid the chaos of modern family life? Hit reply and let me know.