🍄 Partner Power-Ups

This week wasn't procrastination that set me back. It was sickness.

I'd been running on 4-5 hours of sleep for a long time, popping up to work/parent at all hours, feeling something creep in but pushing through anyway. Normally sickness doesn't catch me, but this time it pounced—probably because I didn't give my body a chance to recover. Now I'm licking my wounds and learning an unforced error kind of lesson.

Here's my reminder: this doesn't mean we can't do hard things or push through challenges. But sometimes rest isn't weakness. It's strategic.

TL;DR Digest

Quick hits from week 2 of paternity leave and building Date Night Done:

What We're Seeing: 73% of Date Night Done users say they've been "meaning to plan a date" for over a month before finally booking one.

Our Win: Datenightdone.com is getting some organic traction, and Jessie and I are sharing a mission beyond parenting. And I’m excited to see where we go working together against the same challenges together.

Reality Check: Being able to speak plain truths to one another without either party assuming some undertone, judgement, etc. is critical. It’s hard. But if you can get there you can work through issues so much faster.

Forward to a busy friend who wants a date night but doesn’t have the time to plan it. We’re giving away another 10 this week…first come first serve.

Shared Mission > Shared Calendar

She brings the social awareness and what resonates with 30-somethings. I bring...whatever I bring. But we're building something together that isn't just parenting.

Don't get me wrong—parenting is the most important thing we'll do. But let's call that table stakes. When you have another project you're creating together, you learn to collaborate differently. You practice getting on the same side of the table.

It doesn't have to be a business. Could be a home renovation. An organizational challenge. Something you both care about beyond managing the chaos.

The Recovery Metric

I finally heard someone articulate what I've been thinking: there's no way you're not going to fight constantly with the person you spend the most time with.

So stop trying to eliminate conflict. Optimize for recovery speed instead. How quickly can you get back to center when something goes sideways?

Power couples master this. They put the problem on the other side of the table so both partners face it together. The faster you can reset after friction, the less each little argument compounds into something bigger.

Speak Objective Truth

Here's what makes recovery possible: you can both speak objective truths to one another as matters of fact. And the other person can hear them as facts, not accusations.

Examples:

• "I need you to clean up the lunch mess so we keep finishing what we start"

• "We committed to no more critical items this week—let's stick to that"

• "The laundry pile is getting out of hand and it's stressing me out. Let’s prioritize it today please."

In any of these cases, someone could assume you're pointing a finger. But what you're actually doing is laying out the playing field, calling balls and strikes, and making it possible to have a system and keep things simple.

When you can state what's true without making it personal, your partner can respond to the problem instead of defending themselves.

You Need a Teammate for What's Coming

When you're sick, exhausted, or running on fumes—that's when you need your partner to step up. Not just to "help out," but to be an actual teammate who sees what needs doing and does it.

🆘 And speaking of teammates—you're about to need yours badly because the holiday chaos is coming. Here's your friendly reminder to get together on one side of the table to slay these beasts:

1. Go buy your Halloween candy. Not the day before. Now. Before it's picked over and you're stuck with Dots and those peanut butter things nobody wants.

2. Call the ball on family costumes. Make the decision. Order whatever's needed. If you wait another week, everything will be backordered or require overnight shipping at 3x the price.

3. Block 30 minutes to CEMENT Thanksgiving and Christmas plans. Not "discuss" them. Lock them. Where you're going, who's hosting, what you're bringing, when you're traveling. Make the decisions now before family group texts turn into a month-long saga of indecision.

🍻

Hat