Part2️⃣: You Should TOTALLY Lean Into Work 😯

In our last newsletter, we explored how to distinguish between perceived urgency and actual consequences when deciding between work and family time. But what if… sometimes, leaning hard into work is the right choice—even when it feels uncomfortable in the moment.  What, did you think my only ambition is to strengthen my partnership at home? Certainly you didn’t think I was going to give up all the hustle. 

And I’ll be damned…there’s a part 3.

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Hotel-ing: A Story

Earlier this year, I found myself planning a full weekend away from my family—not for a vacation, but to lock myself in a hotel room and work intensely on this business. As I was packing up to head to the Marriott (packed as many screens as I did bottles of wine…), things started going sideways at home. Stress levels rose, and I felt that familiar pull to cancel my plans and provide support if that’s what my wife needed. 

The "easy" choice would have been to postpone my work sprint. After all, supporting my family is always priority number one, right?

But I went anyway. I knew this wasn't just regular work—this was foundational learning and building that would pay dividends for months to come. Four months later, the skills and frameworks I developed during that focused weekend are making everything else I do faster, less stressful and  more impactful to business growth.

And the family crisis? Like most, it resolved itself without catastrophe.

Is the Iron Actually Hot?

The multi-million-dollar question: How do you know when it's truly time to prioritize work over other important areas of life?

While I don't have a perfect formula (does anyone?), I've found asking the question consistently is half the battle. If you ask yourself "Is this truly a 'strike while the iron is hot' moment?" fifty times over six months and find you're answering "yes" 90% of the time— I’d argue you need to reevaluate your judgement.  But even that’s helpful. 

I've found the framework from "The One Thing" by Gary Keller particularly helpful:

"What's the ONE thing I can do right now such that by doing it, everything else will become easier or unnecessary?"

When viewed through this lens, most late-night emails and reports rarely qualify as true priority-shifting work. But occasionally, certain projects, learning opportunities, or business inflection points genuinely deserve your undivided attention—even if that means temporarily stepping back from other priorities.

An Equally Critical Part of the Relationship

Supporting each other in these times of intensity- and absence on the flip side - IS a huge part of the successful, strengthening relationship. It’s the flip side of what makes you stick together for the next 50 years.  My wife and I don't have this on lock yet, but we're getting better at supporting each other through intensive work periods.

The science around empathy in parental partnerships is striking—it's literally a predictor of divorce rates when absent. The simple act of your partner genuinely understanding what you're going through and feeling it alongside you makes all the difference.

When I go deep on work, my wife creates clearance and space. But she also makes those few moments of connection we do have easily accessible. Whether it's fifteen minutes of genuine conversation before bed or making it easy to spend time with my son and pass him off after a quick breakfast together.

What do I do for her? When her less frequent but very intense work periods arise I will move hell and Earth to make myself available in the home: cooking, covering toddler afternoons when I’d usually be working, or proactively canceling our normal routines. Not seeing them pop up on the calendar only to be “missed” is important to reduce her mental load in these sprint-forward times. 

It's not about quantity during these periods; it's about the quality and intentionality of those smaller moments.

DIY: Use the “Iron Hot? Quiz”

Systems work.  While Appairent can take a lot off your plate, these are things you can DIY, and you have to make decisions anyway. We can’t do that for you. When you're caught between work and family priorities, ask yourself these questions in sequence:

The goal isn't perfect decisions every time, but making conscious choices rather than defaulting to what seems most urgent in the moment.

The Balanced Imbalance

We’re logical people here and perfect balance on a day-to-day basis is illogical.  Life works in seasons and cycles. There will be periods where work necessarily takes precedence, and others where family needs more of you. Sometimes they’ll glide like Mr. Zog’s Sex Wax was applied and other times they’ll clash and grind.  Constant improvement at evaluating the situation, and being prepared for the latter situation is a big win that will unlock success in your relationship and your work, at the same time. 

The question isn't whether you're perfectly balanced at every moment—it's whether you're intentional about these cycles and honest with yourself about when it's time to shift your focus.

But what about the guilt of choosing work over family? Part 3.

When you make these choices with clear eyes and open communication, leaning into work isn't a failure of priorities—it's an acknowledgment that different priorities take center stage at different times, and that's not just okay, it's necessary.

What about you? Have you found specific ways to recognize when it's truly time to go all-in on work? How do you and your partner support each other through those intense periods? Share your thoughts in the comments or reach out to me directly at [email protected].

Get Part 1 and Part 2 to both be true, and your next 10 years is looking bright. Then, call me and tell me how to do it…I’m still learning and better for every bit of advice  you all can give me!

🍻

Hat

Forward to any couples that you think would benefit. We’d love to support them too!