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- Nerd Alert: 3 Ways to Leverage AI in Relationship
Nerd Alert: 3 Ways to Leverage AI in Relationship
Here to stay or not, you can use AI to your advantage at home
Michael Hatfield
May 18, 2025
Gif by Runninglateclub on Giphy
Fad? The Next Thing? Who cares?
Whether you think these advancements in technology - stupidly blanketed under “AI” - are a fad or life-changing the truth is…they’re here. To stay? Don’t know, don’t much care. What I do know is like anything you can use it for “good” or for “evil”. Let me explain.
A glass of high quality wine at 530p, while you break bread with your people and flip the mental switch between work and home (even if you have to return…), it’s glorious and has little effect but a positive one. Drink the whole bottle starting at 8p? Sleep is wrecked, wakeup less happy/productive, and your body basically gets to perform zero functions it needs to! (I’m a Whoop strap guy…I have the data to prove it all…and I still make the tradeoff sometimes…). Same exact substance!
Sure, AI can make your reports sound like every other tool out there. You can produce 100 pages of pure crap at lightning speed with a 2-line prompt and no curation. You can lose all of your authenticity and personality in it.
Or, you can work with it to produce authentic content faster, with perspectives you didn’t formerly consider. You can save time w/ AI where it makes sense, and spend more time where it doesn’t.
And since Appairent is about getting your relationship back in the front seat, I’m always challenging myself to learn and to use to MY advantage.
Can you do 1 or more of these things? I’d be grateful.
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Make AI Your B*tch
Spoiler alert: Appairent’s productized service does use some AI. To the point of “good” and “evil”, what we’re not currently doing is having instant chatbot responses fed back to clients that feel cheap. We keep humans in the loop. But we do automate, and as the service grows, there are some great AI tools and automations that allow us to curate authentically and helpfully.
Here’s a range of things I’m using or experimenting with right now that have the best promise. I’ve got a whole laundry list behind this, so I’ll continue to share if it’s helpful to folks as my thinking/use evolves- and the products will too.
Take a look and evaluate how it can serve you and your partner. Don’t get hung up on “well now a robot is doing my job as a wife”. Nonsense. Don’t get hung up on perfection. You can take that recommendation far past this AI post. And the whole “see, AI didn’t do great at that”? Well, it did it in 10 seconds, you didn’t do it on your own…try harder for 1 more minute.
If the most you get out of this is to check each out for 10 minutes, combined you and your partner will have spent 60 minutes focused on supporting and benefitting your relationship. Not bad. Best case, 1 or more of these really helps level-up the relationship without adding mental load. That’s what we do at Appairent everyday.
3 Practical Applications for AI at Home
Claude: Your 24/7 Sounding Board
Journal+. We all need to vent sometimes. But your spouse shouldn't always have to be that person—especially if it’s about them.
Claude is like my first-line therapist. When I'm frustrated or need perspective, I dump those raw thoughts into Claude. I can use this process to challenge my thoughts, just listen and extend them, or help me frame up an appropriate action that’s diplomatic and measured.
Claude excels at what Sahil Bloom calls "hug, hear, or help” - and if it turns out I need a hug that’s obviously a great time to take the topic to a real person.
Provides empathy without judgment
Listens patiently
Offers thoughtful perspective
This doesn't replace conversations with my wife—it enhances them, and lets me get some internal reflection out much more readily without it being JUST a journal. I come with more clarity and less reactive emotion.
Reply back if you need help w/ the prompting - it’s great to seed this type of session the right way to get the best out of Claude.
Lindy.ai - Unleash that Mental Load
I just went through birthday planning where this would have saved my ass. Little more advanced, but this one probably excites me the most. Lindy is aimed at business users (me), but the same tooling is incredibly helpful to run your other business- your home.
Used correctly and it can triage inbound communications for your insurance, home project contractor/vendors, scheduling/managing the go-between with all of them, and call places to make/update reservations and appointments. Hopefully I’ve said enough to make this seem worth it!
My rec? Just sign-up for Appairent b/c this is the type of service we’re tuning working for customers, so you don’t have to!
Time Saved at Work= Time for Your Spouse
I’m a ding-dong for not thinking about this earlier: use AI to save time at work so you can redirect that time home. No surprise, people are overhyping this concept like we’ll have some utopia 2 years from now. We won’t, but I’m pretty close to legitimately saving an average of 1 hour/day using AI-enabled tools.
So, where will you put that time savings? I’m putting SOME back into my partnership. It’s dragged behind work and the kids for long enough right?
My process:
Create a dedicated Claude project space for each of your larger projects you’re working on for >1 week.
Feed in meeting notes, transcripts, freewriting of your own thoughts.
Challenge Claude to provide related (to support or refute your position/recommendations on something) content and best practices.
Review, edit, and apply my expertise. Go back and forth to refine your thinking and Claude’s support.
When generally pleased, ask for help specifically NOT changing your tone/delivery/points, but simply formatting and formalizing.
What took 8 hours now takes 1-2 for me typically. That means I can be present for dinner instead of still typing away.
The best part? This isn't cutting corners—my work quality has improved. Better output, less time, more energy for what matters at home.
LMK if you want prompt help.
The Relationship Impact
All of these tools can give you back time and mental bandwidth that you can reinvest in your partnership. Be open to that.
The irony isn't lost on me that I'm using technology to help solve relationship challenges that other technology helped create. And, I might even be giving you some of the sauce of Appairent if you want to cobble it all together yourself. But that’s my commitment ot this DIY group, go get ‘em.
Remember though, these aren't relationship replacements. They're relationship enablers when used with intention. The goal isn't to automate your marriage - it's to remove the friction that keeps you from showing up fully in it.
Even if all these tools are a flash in the pan, that seems worth it to me for now.
🍻
Hat