👂 More of a Reminder...

Sometimes we need to be reminded more than we need to be taught. That includes me this week because...I did it again.

We're in the infant gauntlet right now - the most spectacular changes happening big and small in our family, and we feel this HUGE thankfulness. But - yes, but - we cannot physically keep up with the laundry, bottles, dishes, trash, toys, diaper pails, etc. etc....etc.

And yet I keep trying. I've been starting at 4 AM and ending at 12 AM trying to stay on top of the minimum: work, this business, experimenting within the business, house chores, family quality time. I keep throwing a harder shoulder into every aspect. Only to find that I often end up increasingly more mediocre and ready to put a fist through the wall.

Flip the script. I'm all about hustle and we can do hard things. But if you're feeling one of these white-knuckle moments, it's time to stop. Realize that you don't need to do more...you're doing too much. Go hug your partner, rip a half day off the calendar from work. You’ve got to put the DND on the phone and go kayak, tinker, walk or whatever “play” you can find. Then take your partner on a quick date…clear the mechanism.

For couples tired of the white-knuckle approach to "keeping up" - that's why we built Appairent (and soon, Date Night Done to really hone in!). We help you flip the script from doing more to doing what matters. Join the couples who've stopped drowning and started floating.

TL;DR DIGEST

Quick hits for busy couples drowning in good intentions:

What We're Seeing: 72% of our couples describe feeling "behind on everything" when they start with us - including their relationship. It’s reversible, the first step is wanting to reverse it.

For The Win: The script flip I’m suggesting is not some froo froo nonsense. Your work is going to get better. The outcome you want is going to get easier. When stress is in control your creativity, clarity and execution are all worse. You’re working harder for less outcome.

Reality Check: Your white-knuckle approach to "keeping up" is often what's breaking down your most important partnership. You grinded yourself into thinking this was the way forward b/c things just got busy under your nose. And you’ll grind yourself right into resentment (there 🖐).

EXECUTION PLAYBOOK

Here's how we help clients flip the script when they're drowning…sometimes we just need a reminder. Here’s your reminder.

Quality Time
What we do: We force couples to calendar relationship time FIRST, then fit everything else around it.
DIY version: Block 3 hours next weekend for you two. Don't plan what you'll do - just claim the time and show up.

Acts of Service
What we do: We coordinate one partner taking over something completely so the other can breathe.
DIY hack: Text your spouse: "What's one thing I could completely own this week to give you space?" Then actually do it without updates or credit-seeking.

Words of Affirmation
What we do: We prompt appreciation when couples are survival mode - they forget to acknowledge each other's efforts.
DIY option: "I see how hard you're working to keep everything together. It matters and I notice."

For our Appairent couples, we handle the prompting and coordination. For DIY'ers, remember: you're both drowning trying to fix the problem…help each other float.

THIS WEEK'S PLAY: THE RESET DATE

📣 @HUSBANDS, this one's on you to orchestrate

The Setup: A 2-hour "we're pulling back" date in the next 14 days

Your Tasks:

• Block both calendars (afternoon works too, or take the morning after kids first day of school…it’s a crapshoot anyway)

• Pick somewhere you can actually talk - coffee shop, park bench, your kitchen after kids are in bed

• Start the conversation: "Where do we feel like we're grinding instead of hustling? What specific thing has been ditched that we'll schedule in FIRST in the next two weeks to flip the script?"

The Text: "We're taking a breather this week. Just us, figuring out what really needs our attention."

Why This Works: Acknowledges you're both overwhelmed; creates space to recalibrate priorities; models pulling back instead of pushing harder.

For our Appairent couples, this appears as a structured reset session, calendared ahead in the routine.

THIS WEEK'S VALUE-ADD CHALLENGE

Partner: Remove one thing from your shared to-do list that's "nice to have" but not essential. Give yourselves permission to let it slide.

Parent: Say no to one request this week - whether it's volunteering, a playdate, or extra work commitment. Practice protecting your family's margin.

Person: Take one afternoon completely off from productivity. Read, nap, walk - anything that isn't advancing a goal.

Pick at least ONE. Execute by next Sunday.

FLIP THE SCRIPT

Put the things getting squeezed into last place into first place. I bet you'll be able to get your arms back around that tight schedule. I've seen this script before. I've been on both sides of it. And I've seen the benefits when I have the strength to "pull back" and flip the script.

And so have you. You just might need a reminder.

🍻

Hat