Just 15 Minutes

No, what you're thinking only takes 3...this is different.

Author

Michael Hatfield
August 03, 2024

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I’d love you to subscribe to Appairent so you have a proactive accountability partner and assistant. But the outcome I REALLY hope for you is you get to live with intention. And… “it only takes 15 minutes”. No, that’s not from some infomercial - that’s from my Dad. Thing is, he’s not wrong.

“Making Time”

My dad’s the tits. Among other reasons, when he visits me in CHS he’s super helpful around the house. In the process he does microbursts of work: garage tidying, patio cleanup, or taking trash out of our basement that looked like a fulfillment center for Crap’R’Us (thanks to my wife for making it stellar again).

When I thank him he reminds me “just takes…like 15 minutes to get this right.” I want to throttle him in that moment…but he’s right. And the reason I’m angry is I know that it just takes intention to stop and spend the 15 mins.

Easier said than done

Sometimes my rebuttal to him is “if I ramble off to you all the 15 minute tasks I have in my head right now you’d realize it’s 8 hours of work and I don’t know where to start”. But take him at his word: how many other areas of your life could benefit from this approach?

Don’t give into the mental load. What if you stop and do one 15-minute “drop everything and do just one task?

My compromise: It just takes 15 mins… to coordinate 8+ hours of intention and awesomeness that is going to increase your presence and reduce your mental load.

When it’s Thurs night. Kids are in bed. Cut the Netflix. Pull out your calendar. Set a timer and here’s 15 minutes of intention that yields far more. The actions only take about 5 of the 15 minutes. But you might need 10’ish mins to sort the chess board a bit.

Person #1
“Put your mask on” - Look at the next 6 weeks. Do you have any solo or guy time that is focused and intentional? Calendar ~3 hours in and copy/paste this to 3+ buddies in a txt: “I don’t know what yet but we gotta do something for the boys. Can you all make this date work? If not this date, shoot some other dates in ± 2 wks”. The rest will flow.

Partner #2
You’re apPAIRent right? Your spouse is next. Calendar in 1 Thurs evening on both your calendars from 8-10p. "Wine and chill”. In the invite tell her “you, me, a wine bottle and nothing else. let’s enjoy some time with no screens and no distractions”. We all need this.

Parent #3
You know I’m right - you’re natural here. You and your partner make this time, planned and unplanned. Still, block out a dinner night, ice cream date, something a little out of the norm. The abnormality can be when you do it, or the thing you do. The planning, blocking and abnormality of it will drive the intention.

"23 Time”

Bonus: Combine 2 & 3 and everyone wins. Block a slot to do a daddy thing (can decide later, and I have a bank of ideas) solo with the kids. wife gets 2-3 hours of “me time”. You make those 1:1 memories as a parent.

It just takes 15 minutes. I hope you stop everything for .25 of 1 hour and do the above. I hope you gain time for yourself. I hope it serves your wife well. And I hope it gets you time with your kids that feels better than “I did whatever came at me”.

I’m new at this too. But when I’ve successfully completed this exercise I feel a bit more at peace, and a bit less like I want to bludgeon everyone in my family. And that has value 🍻 .

Forward/share with any dads that might benefit from Appairent!