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I Put the Ass in Procrastination
How to identify it and quite it b/c procrastination is not worth it.
Michael Hatfield
September 28, 2025
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I Put the Ass in Procrastination
And it's costing me more than time
Since last week, we've been working on systems and simplicity in my household (per the previous newsletter), and it's going generally well. But here's what it highlighted: all the areas where I procrastinate because that mental load list feels so freaking huge. We defer things we know need to get done to do something else – whether that's the rest of the list or, let's be honest, doing nothing at all.
I don't like procrastination, but it's built into me. Why? Because I'm human.
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My Procrastination Kryptonite
My personal hell? Administrative tasks. Insurance claims. Expense reports. Government paperwork where they've screwed something up and now I have to spend an hour fixing their mistake.
Those of you with EAs or home assistants will tell me to just delegate it. I agree. I just can't afford it right now, and that's on me. So instead, I defer. And here's the kicker – the pain, anxiety, and mental load it creates costs far more than the 30-60 minutes it would take to just handle it.
How do we solve it? Let’s understand what it is, what it’s not, how to identify it and how to work against it.
The Procrastination Trap
Procrastination is miscalculating value based on immediate versus future impact. Our brains discount future benefits exponentially – what psychologists call "temporal discounting."
Perfect example: I'll defer weekly expenses to make sales calls. Three months later? Maybe I've got a new customer, but I'm also drowning in credit card debt that's consuming me mentally AND costing real money in interest. Former me would slap current me upside the head.
The truth? We're terrible advocates for our future selves. And that affects you, future you, and everyone around you in present or future.
6 Procrastinations in Your Partnership
Any look familiar?
Date Night Drift: If you don't make time to plan them, lock them in, and handle the logistics (sitter, reservations, etc.), you'll suddenly realize it's been four months since you've done anything together that wasn't forced onto your calendar.
The "We Should Talk About..." List: Important conversations about finances, future plans, or relationship needs that keep getting pushed because there's never a "good time."
The Thank You That Never Comes: You notice your partner handled all the kid logistics while you were traveling. You think "I should really thank them properly for that." Three weeks later, they're resentful about feeling unappreciated, and you can't even remember what you meant to thank them for.
The Birthday/Anniversary Scramble: You know it's coming for months. But somehow you're at CVS with < a week to go, grabbing a card and whatever gift card is left. The thought doesn't count when the only thought was the one you deferred.
Sex and Intimacy: "We should make time for that" becomes "has it really been three weeks?" because you're both waiting for the perfect moment when you're not exhausted. Spoiler: that moment isn't coming.
The Small Repairs: That conversation about how something they said hurt you. You defer it to avoid conflict. Six months later, it explodes over something completely unrelated because you've been carrying it the whole time.
5 Work Procrastinations that Bleed Everywhere
Different modality, same root problem: deferral and delay.
The Proposal Punt: Delaying that big proposal by "perfecting" smaller tasks. Three weeks later, you're pulling all-nighters, missing family dinner four nights straight, and delivering something worse than if you'd just started earlier.
Email Mountain: Letting your inbox hit 1,000+ unread because "I'll batch process them Friday." Friday becomes next Friday. Now you've missed actual opportunities, pissed off colleagues, and spend your entire weekend anxiously clearing the backlog while your family does Saturday without you.
Networking Neglect: "I should reach out to..." becomes years of silence. When you actually need your network (job loss, seeking advisors, fundraising), those relationships are dead. The panic of starting from zero affects everything at home.
The Learning Lag: Deferring that certification, skill upgrade, or course that would level up your career. Two years later, you're passed over for promotion, watching younger colleagues leap past you, and taking that frustration out on your family.
Expense Report Hell: My personal favorite. Three months of receipts crumpled in your laptop bag. Credit card maxed. Now you can't book that family vacation because your reimbursement is trapped in your procrastination. Your partner rightfully asks "how is this even possible?"
It creates cascading failures that bleed into home, too. This isn’t to fear monger, it’s to remind you work does in fact plan a role in your partnership too.
Actually Fixing this S*it
Here's what actually works (when I do it):
The Sunday Setup: Every Sunday, scan the week for procrastination landmines. Book 30-minute blocks to handle them BEFORE they become emergencies. Absolute gamechanger when I execute it (proud to say this last week was a great start to that) Insurance claim? Tuesday 2 PM. Anniversary in 3 months? Block time and get your plans right (or use datenightdone.com…done in 5 minutes and back to work!).
The "Touch It Once" Rule: Turn that thing you say to your wife into a rule for procrastination. Email comes in about kid's soccer registration? Don't read it and defer. Either stay on task and don’t read it…or handle it immediately if you decided to open it. This will make you decide more intentionally and act more decisively.
Procrastination Partners: My wife and I are supportively calling each other out. If we aren’t finishing a task or leaving things in disarray we call it out…and then we help each other fix it if we’re both available. FULLY finish dishes and put them away. FULLY fold and put away the laundry. FULLY put away the groceries when they come through the door.
The 10-Minute Friday: Every Friday at 3 PM, ask yourself: "What have I been avoiding that will bite me in the ass next week?" Then do just that one thing.
Prioritize, Don’t Procrastinate.
Start now. Here's the thing about prioritization versus procrastination: if you're ALWAYS picking work and calling it prioritization, I’d challenge you to think about what’s being deferred and what’s the “total cost”. Prioritization is conscious and strategic. Procrastination is often avoidance dressed up as being busy, or choosing something that is easier first…100 times in a row.
The tragic irony: relationship tasks take the least time but yield the highest returns. That appreciation text? 30 seconds. Flower order? 10 minutes. Date reservation? 25 minutes. But the compound cost of not doing them – distance, resentment, missed connections – that's the real price. What’s the total cost of your decisions? If we successfully turn this on its ear, you’ll actually see some EARNINGS, not cost.
Let this be my resounding anthem to continue killing procrastination. Let it be the last newsletter I write at the last minute, after 5 nights of sleeping 4 hours and accidentally sleeping in 2.5 hours extra 😂 😭. I’m starting my next one right now…future me (and future wife) is gonna love me for it.
🍻
Hat