👨From Fathers, For Us All

Men Carry Mental Load, Too.

Not the same kind, not always the same weight – but real, persistent, and often invisible weight nonetheless.

We worry about providing while being present. We stress about career trajectory while trying to coach Little League. We calculate mortgage payments during bedtime stories and wonder if we're doing enough, being enough, showing up enough. Over 70% of men don't ask for help or talk about the things that eat them up inside.

But none of that defines us, everything else does. This isn’t a negative or heavy post, it’s actually about everything that outperforms that mental load. And you possess it all.

Can you do 1 or more of these things? I’d be grateful.

1. Click any of the social icons at the top of this newsletter to repost/share this info on your favorite platform.

2. Forward/refer a friend for the newsletter if you think we can be helpful to their partnership at home.

3. Signup for Appairent Essentials - DIY is possible but you’ve got a lot on. I want one more thing to manage, so you don’t have to.

Men, Give Yourself Some Credit

Not just today, but on the regular. And know something else. Mental load is…ok. And you’ll be ok. We are built strong, able to fight, endure, and rise above an occasion.

Your mental load looks different but it's real:

• The 3 AM worries about college funds and retirement savings

• The weight of feeling responsible to do whatever you can for everyone's happiness and security

• The constant calculation to balance work, family time, friendships, health, your partnership…it’s a lot

• The pressure to deliver well enough at work to have the outcome you imagined and planned for your family

This isn't weakness. This is what loving deeply looks like for many men. My hat’s off to you

And Women/Moms: I’m not looking for a bakeoff and the only contest I’m vying for is the giving contest.*  Today I’m taking a beat to recognize we’re all pulling weight, and we’re all built to do it. Sometimes the same weight, sometimes very different weight…it’s all weight. Appreciate theirs, and we most certainly DO appreciate yours.

*Giving Contest: no scoreboards, but a competition where both man and woman just try to do the very best for one other with no expectation of reciprocity (though it’ll come if we’re both playing).

Run with These

I’ve had the extremely good fortune to learn from the best of fathers. If you’re celebrating a father today and/or you are one, let’s take these best lessons I’ve been gifted and run with them.

And Now Let’s Go

Now let’s go drive the boat, cheers with a negroni, beer, or seltzer water, and experience that faith, hope and love. No mental load, stress or burnout can compete. It’s buried in the sand.

Happy Father’s Day.

🍻

Hat