3-Step Playbook for Partnership

Back to Basics

Every now and then a preacher needs to read a few lines of scripture and let you out early to go fishing. No preaching required. That’s the equivalent of this post.

Below you’ll see a quick “maddy Hattie” story just for kicks (skip if you need to get on with it). Then, 3 “plays” BOTH partners can run for one another to put your relationship back in the front seat, even if you have a stressful June comin’ in hot. It’s not about constant relationship stuff - that would make me yak too. It’s about consistency. I don’t want to find out that while you and me are building businesses, careers and growing the top line, that your relationship quietly crept over to that place to die.

I think these are actionable, and will help. With some very light scheduling you’ll be scheduled to “show up” for one another, and can get back to crushing it.

Can you do 1 or more of these things? I’d be grateful.

1. Click any of the social icons at the top of this newsletter to repost/share this info on your favorite platform.

2. Forward/refer a friend for the newsletter if you think we can be helpful to their partnership at home.

3. Signup for Appairent Essentials - DIY is possible but you’ve got a lot on. I want one more thing to manage, so you don’t have to.

A Dog is a Dog, is a Dog (Maddy Hattie)

If you’ve never read one of my rants…this is where I get to implode, have a little fun and hopefully you laugh at my expense. We’ve all been there.

My folks were in town this week to help the fam during my (failed, more on that another time) business trip. And they could help w/ the continued nesting for our 2nd babe incoming (also more on that later).

All that went great. Of all things, a damn Thursday evening dog walk is where I had to go nearly atomic. My dad and I are walking Frida with ½ a drink left from a low-key Thursday night. Hatfield men aren’t known for silence, so we’re rambling on about God, women, family…and then it happens.

I was engrossed enough in our conversation that I didn’t notice Frida had gone max extension on the leash to get to something. A fish. Not a fish bone, or a fish head or a scrap…an entire f*cking redfish.

Now firstly, who the hell leaves an entire fish on a residential city street? Either eat the thing or put it in the garbage…but don’t waste it and leave it on the damn street? Now, confession: I had noticed this earlier in the day and said “that’s disgusting” and did nothing about it. Apparently neither had any of the other 100 privileged something-doodle (me too) owners in my neighborhood. Let’s all take extreme ownership learning from this.

I immediately knew so I sprung into action, and Frida was so proud of her find that she was holding it delicately in her mouth like a retriever…no gobbling yet. I straddled her and got my hands on her jaws. She’s clearly not letting go. And thinking of the brand new rugs, curtains, clothes, bedsets that were exposed in my house (see, nesting)…neither was I. I pried, shook, jiggled, jumped, screamed, pleaded and begged for the next 5 minutes. I’m flinging 3-day old fish slime onto my face, clothes and my wine cup. I’m cursing up a storm, and my father - of all people - is reminding me not to go bazerk on her since it’s not her fault she was instinctual. Fair.

Finally, her jaws tired and the fish slowly fell out of her mouth mostly intact…but God it stunk. Her entire face wreaked like the slop bucket of a fish house that someone also took a dump in. An identical smell was on my hands, shorts and wine cup from said flinging, jiggling and slinging.

We finished the walk, got her back and hosed her and me down. After 5 shampoos her face and my hands smelled normal. She slept outside (our bedroom) that night. My dad said this instinctual calling reminded him “a dog is a dog, is a dog…they have no problem shoving their face into nasty, disgusting stuff all for a meal”. I reminded him of all the things us men have shoved our face into, all thanks to instincts. I left it there.

3 DIY “Plays” for Partnership

These are the type of things we’re prepping, planning or doing (you still gotta show up) for our Appairents. Remember, it’s obvious, not easy (with all the other s*it you have to do). Use right now to block 20 mins to plan out the first bit, and plan another 30 mins of undivided attention where you can get the “bigger” more planful play action done that’s here. With DIY Appairent you don’t have to come up with much, just tackle.

A Couple is a Couple, is a Couple

That’s 3 things in a month. Not constant, consistent. A couple, is a couple - it takes 2 and a few moments of intentionalism are all you need to pull the thread that keeps you in tact.

A couple endures a lot. You’re constantly parenting and on the go. And you do all of this together, no doubt. But a couple is still a couple and needs a little focused attention.

Seems obvious or a little corny? What’s the cost of NOT doing it? I don’t know…yet. And I don’t want to find out personally. But I believe not doing any of these ever is where a relationship goes to die. When we don’t go there our lives get better, our careers can thrive better, and we’re doing what we intended to do all along.

🍻

Hat